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Our Love isn't Poetic, it's Better than that



Steady & devoted.  Two words describing Ben by our pastor in his wedding homily.  

Yesterday as I was running errands with the girls, these two words penetrated within...steady & devoted.  Although we don't believe in "the one," I'm certain that God knew what he was doing weaving our lives, our stories together that June 12th of 1998.  

The day he would roll up the camp after a long week of finals & move-out, marking the end of his freshman year.  Little did he know, or I would know, that we would meet our future spouse.  Him, tired, reserved & extroverted out walked into the old camp hall to meet a rambunctious, loud and introverted out young lady.  This young lady, whom he would confide in later, considered to be "one of the most annoying people he'd met."  

She had spent two weeks by herself in what seemed The Shining, while he had spent the last two weeks in what would seem Animal House (not quite, just a rowdy dormitory).  Two souls meeting that couldn't be further from similar, and yet, God was intertwining his grace.  Taking a girl from unstable upbringing, dreaming of a guy who would sweep her off her feet & adore her (while looking mighty nice in a white T-shirt).  

Her image of a man was a little different from what she really desired, and what she really needed.  She dreamed of a man who could sing harmony or melody alongside her, who would write poetic, and get those deep inner mysteries that others would scoff at.  With God sized dreams & deep breaths, she finds grace in a man who isn't poetic, who can't sing harmony with her melody, and who doesn't always get the ponderings.  

Rather, God says, "I know something far more important than you can fathom.  You don't need a person who always 'gets' the inner mysteries, but appreciates them.  You don't need a man who is poetic, but brings reality to your poems.  You don't need a man who sings in perfect unison, but gives you a sturdy stage to sing upon."


My Valentine is a man who is steady & devoted.  He isn't all of those other things I read about with wives & husbands, but he gives me grace when I fall flat on my face.  He is my biggest supporter & encourager in this life.  He's my confidant.  He's my steady in this shaking sea of doubt & anxiety.  He is the man who writes my name in his monthly calendar to ensure that he provides me with something special.  It's not spontaneous flowers on the whim, but very thoughtful & meditated love.  His love speaks of actions.  

What I see almost 14 years later is a man who loves me like Jesus.  His quiet, steady, faithful love is reliable & Spirit filled.  He is God's gift to me, the one person who is constantly pointing me to Jesus, and does it with such gentle grace.  It's as if Jesus is shepherding Ben, in order to care for me.  Saying words like, "Kamille is my gift I'm giving to you Ben, love her well." 

And he is.

Reader Comments (4)

You make everyone want a Ben.
February 15, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJenny
Thank you! It's so easy to compare our men to the storybook ideal (sometimes worse the "Christian" novel ideal) and miss on the quieter gifts he brings to the table. Oh how blessed I have been by the man God has graced me with: Steady, Patient and loving. He has walked beside me through some tough times and I can take that faithfulness for granted sometimes. Thank you for your beautiful picture of your husband. Blessings!
February 15, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterRebecca
Beautiful, Kamille. Loved this.
February 15, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSarah Bessey
thanks Sarah!
February 17, 2012 | Registered CommenterKamille

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